Friday, March 6, 2009
I have no idea how I ended up all the way up here. It’s ok with me though if I can’t remember how. My end is more important than my means. It’s actually quite good up here. A long stretch of waving blue far off. Twists, turns and rows of trees interlacing to form huge patches of green here and there. Long arteries of roads, alive with noisy people and quiet machines. Crowds. People with their purpose, and machines with their function, long forgotten. Suddenly I’m wishing I wasn’t here to look at them. I can close my eyes to block out the view, but the hope that I can open them again disappoints me. I can doze off, but I will wake up soon. I can blindfold myself but it will start itching.
After all, the best way to make the world disappear is as simple as closing one’s eyes… and keeping them closed.
I think the workers knew that I would wander up here one day. They left without building the parapet wall. I stand on the roughly cemented edge, with a little bit of my chappal hanging out. I look down. It’s pretty high. Not scared, just excited. I smile mischievously at all the innocent bystanders below. They have no idea whats gonna hit them. I take pride in thinking that in a few moments so many eyes would be on me. Soon, one question would be on everyone’s mind “who was that guy!?” I feel light.
The wind is blowing from behind me. One simple leg and hip motion and I would be facing it. Arms stretched wide, and eyes wide open. I guess it doesn’t require much physics. A gentle weight transfer to my back and the wind would take care of the rest. I would be reaching the earth fast with eyes straight towards the heavens. I can feel all my blood pulsating thru my body, my nerves strung tight. My head is as clear as the blue skies above me and I know my time has come. I’m the one who called it.
I take a deep breath and let go. I laugh all the way down.
I am hungry. Feels like ages since I’ve had something proper. Got bored sitting here on my terrace, staring at that god forsaken building all day long. I know I need a bath. It’s been a hot day. I probably can come back later in the night. Or there are always other ways to keep oneself amused.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I know I need a bath. I am dripping water from head to toe. I am lying on the ground. A distant light up above, shining brightly through the water falling on me. I might be under the street light, outside in the rain. Maybe in the bathroom, on the floor, with the bathroom light, a little too bright. I need to open my eyes to see the difference. I open. The conductor is asking me where do I get down. Why does he care? The guy standing to the right of the conductor’s left elbow is staring at me. He is carrying a heavy leather briefcase. Full hands shirt. Just ironed trousers. He is still staring. Does he know that I dint brush today? A couple of minutes, he stares away. I reach out and punch him. There is an ink stain on the top right corner of his left sleeve. It’s mocking me. I dint like that stain. I taste my blood. They pushed my onto the road. Its raining hard. I’m left alone under this lonely streetlight. I walk away smiling. He still doesn’t know where I am going.